Friday, February 14, 2014

Good change - bad change

I  mentioned in my last post (2 days ago) that I wanted to reflect on  whether there were any "significant" changes in my approach to living  as a result of  my open heart surgery a year ago.   The fact that I missed writing anything yesterday is a symptom of what might be considered a "negative" change.

I have ( it seems) always had a tendency towards procrastination when I'm starting something new.   Part of that is a desire to have a "grand plan"  and "do it right" -- part of it is the tendency towards day-dreaming about what might be rather than getting on with  living in the present --  whatever the reason finding a balance between planning and doing has  always been a "challenge" for  me.

 I have written about this before (long before  the surgery). in a post called "Living by the Nike creed?".

Last January before  I knew that I  had a very serious  problem  with my heart, I had  re-stated  several principles for living that I wanted to keep my eye on.  These principles  are summarized in this "theme for living" which remains  "front & center" in  my  thinking.

I will live today in the moment. I will live today as if it were my last day here on this earth  and I will dream and plan today for tomorrow because  “Today is the first day of the rest of my life; I will rejoice and be glad in it”   (cf. Psalm 118:24-KJV).

During the recovery period from my surgery my thinking was mostly on "how do I make the most of each moment?" and "What would I be doing if this were the last day of my life?" -- however, in the past few months I've been wanting to shift more into "first day .." thinking.

So that's what I "want" to do -- and you'd think  that bumping up against your mortality  would make it easier to  live  this way.  But  as time goes by I find myself drifting back into old habits ... and in particular  letting unimportant, things fill my time while procrastinating on the important  or at least what I consider to be important.

So, in an effort to get past that  I'm committing a relatively short time - half hour at least - to writing  in this blog.  To see how it  evolves and whether it  is helpful to me -- and maybe to  others in being more satisfied that I  am "making good use of the time" God has given me here (cf. Ephesians 5:15-16,  Col. 4:5).

My point  in this post is that I have found myself drifting very much into procrastination and "time wasting" activities such as playing games and  over attention to things like FACEBOOK. 

I hope re-focussing on "just do it" will help -- although what I "do" must have meaning and purpose -- I found myself thinking of Abraham's servant in Genesis 24  when he was sent to look for a wife for Isaac -- 
He had  completed a long and tiring journey -- he might have been forgiven if he'd said  "I'll rest tonight and do my business tomorrow" but in Genesis 24:33  we find "

Then food was set before him to eat. But he said, “I will not eat until I have said what I have to say.” 

If something is important  (to me) and has a purpose for me, I pray for this attitude to "just do it".

God Bless

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