Beginnings & Endings – Part 3

Saturday I attended two funeral in one day – a record for me.  One of those was a man a year younger than I that I grew up with. The other a lady 3 years younger who was the oldest daughter of an older couple who have been and continue to be  “pillars  of  faith” in our church family. 

When I first became an elder at the church her father was one of the other elders (he is now  90+ and  retired  as an elder over 10 years ago). Her mother  served as a Bible  teacher for many years and had one of the most amazing abilities to recognize a Bible quote and give Chapter & verse of anyone I’ve ever known – her health has deteriorated and  she has lost some of   her “edge” but still can outdo many in that regard.

The first funeral was in Thessalon  (an hour drive one-way) at 10 a.m. and the second was here at 3:00. For the second I had a role (prayer & scripture reading) which was a little more demanding and stressful .

By Saturday night I was ready to crash and we spent the evening watching a couple of movies via Netflix. 

This morning I found out that my consult with the cardiac surgeon is this Thursday .

This leads me back to my ”beginnings and endings” theme .  In the first  two parts I set some context that had already lead me to thinking more and more about my own mortality and the need to be prepared “for the worst” while always (with an acknowledgement of ‘if the Lord is willing’) planning for the best.

Finding out about my heart problems, and sitting in these funerals ,  listening to the tributes  certainly has increased  my  thinking  about  ‘endings’  and, in a way, has made my thinking about these things over that past year seem  “good”. (perhaps an example of  the good that can be found in ‘bad’ things as described in Romans 8:28)

So far I’ve talked mostly about endings - the endings of lives – and the ending of my (almost 70 year) run of “perfect health.

Today I want talk about the response to those endings – those losses that “hit us like a ton of bricks”.

I have often reflected before on the fact that it seemed these things so often happened to others  and I was thankful (and oddly at times felt guilty) that they didn’t happen to me.

It seems that over the past several years  “endings” have been a more frequent  and closer to home. Being reminded of the fleeting nature of life me led  to  a  my renewed commitment for 2013 to  “Live in the now as if it’s the last day while at the same time making plans for  the future” .

In part 2,  I described some of the events  that led to  an echocardiogram last Tuesday and finding out that I have  I have a “very tight” (diseased) aortic valve.

I remember hearing the Doctor say those words

“ “It needs to be replaced – I’m referring you to a surgeon”

 “You are have a 10 times increase in the risk of “sudden cardiac death”

 (that seemed very blunt – couldn’t he have  softened it by saying  cardiac failure – but I understand he needs to speak the truth and the truth is that the risk is 10 times higher for me than for someone with no heart disease (and other risk factors) )

Now this is certainly less of a loss than a wife learning that her husband has died or a parent learning that their child has died. I know that – and I can’t really imagine how much of a shock that must be.  But it still ranks up there as a serious loss – after all I was the one that never had a hint of serious illness – I thought that would last forever (or at least for another 20 or 30 years.  

But that was before  – now I was “vincible” (actually I started to say “I was no longer invincible” and wondered if vincible was a word – it is!!)

Conventional wisdom in my circles would be that I would be go through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief .  You know the stages known by the acronym DABDA; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. 

(As an aside – and I think I may do a post on this  sometime soon – when looking up the Kubler-Ross model I discovered that there are some competing models  for how people deal with loss which may better represent what I’ve been experiencing over the past week)

I can honestly say that it wasn’t shocking – I didn’t feel any terror or panic or denial (saying  it can’t be I want a second opinion – etc.) in fact  I don’t think I’m experiencing anger, that I’ve  thought of bargaining, that I’ve been  or will be depressed   (a least not in a major way) –,.

 I wanted to know about this disease and the surgical options – I wanted to  be prepared  and  do my part  so I can “hope for” (Biblical usage – meaning confidently expect)  the best possible outcome and I want to be prepared for the worst and this means  I want to get my affairs in order “just in case”. So I have researched these things and made a renewed effort to “get my affairs in order” -- you know “plan for the worst and hope for the best”

So I think  I’ve moved  immediately to acceptance – and action – and  I have my faith in God to thank for that.  It seemed coincidental but Linda and I had just  listened to a video from her ladie’s class that  talked about  “Job’s phrase “The Lord gives & the Lord takes away – Blessed be the name of the Lord” . I also thought of  Paul’ s statement in Phillipians  “whatever state I’m in I’ve learned to be content”   – and  when occasionally I sense a bit of  depression or anxiety I am reminded  of the man who after Jesus healed his child said “ Lord I believe – help me in my unbelief”.

In any case my emotional response is mostly

a)      sadness – the loss of my ability to say I’m in perfect health” – the loss of my ability to “pick up and go” – the loss of my ability to step up if someone needs a hand to move something, to help a neighbor dig out of the snow,  to take a day and go skiing with my daughter when she comes home  next weekend

b)      disappointment (a bit irrational because it’s not my fault –   and it’s out of my control) but none the less disappointment – I have failed Linda, my family and others  around me because I can no longer say  “I’m  available and able to  do whatever needs to be done” (well of course I’m not superman and that “whatever” had limitations of strength and skills – but it  is (for now) severely restricted. It is really tough to not be able to snowblow the driveway or go for a brisk walk in the snow lined trails on a  crisp  sunny day.

c)       Impatience – let’s get on with this – and that too is a bit irrational since things are  falling together and moving along very quickly so far

 Well as I’ve said – I’m not completely sure where I’m going with this but I’m thinking  that this is the end of talking about endings and losses and I will now move to   some topics related to beginnings – in this case beginning to learn how to live after major surgery. 

 

God Bless

Charlie

Wait for the Lord

In  my   last (first?) 2 posts  on  “Beginnings & Endings” I’ve said “I am not completely sure where this is going”. 

 I do have a general picture in my mind  and, by that  “hazy” map today was to be  Part 3  on the topic of  loss and our reaction to it.

But sometimes the Spirit  sets an idea before you and so  I’m  taking (as my friend Roger  calls it)  a “curbside stop” triggered by a posting in Facebook made by my cousin Wilma.

Wilma wrote the following 

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18. What is our part in all of this.  Just get rid of the facade (emphasis mine) as near as I can see. Is that David's secret? Before us and before God he railed and he praised, he cried and he sang - often, it seems, in the same breath. He threw off 'the veil'. To us he is known as 'the man after God's own heart'.

Recently , I read or heard  a statement caught my attention  because  it spoke to situations that I had been faced with during the  events I’ve mentioned in the “beginnings and endings” posts.

It went something like this (with my apologies because I can't remember the source)

So often Christians (think they) know the right words to say when faced with difficult times and the words  come out our mouths but in our hearts we are feeling something very different.

My response to Wilma’s post    affirms that it is more important to “speak from our heart” than it is to say   the “right” words (and to be clear I’m talking about expressing our own honest emotional response to our own pain or loss – NOT giving license to say the judgemental or selfish things that sometimes spring from our hearts when we are faced with someone else’s pain – cf. James 3:1-12).

I wrote

“Wednesday night we were sharing scripture, songs and prayer as we remembered two families who had lost loved ones on Tuesday and I made that same point using Psalm 27. God wants honesty from broken hearts not the right words from "righteous" people.

As I read Psalm 27,  I hear David proclaiming his trust in God while at the same time expressing fear that God will  abandon  him in his time of greatest need . 

 In the following  “adaption”  of Psalm 27,  I have substituted  some  more modern  “trials and battles” for the  “physical” enemies and “real” battles  that David wrote about. I pray that this substitution makes it more real to us today without hampering the honest genuine poetic expression of the wavering between fear and faith that I hear throughout the original Psalm and especially  in verses  4, 9 and 14. 

         Psalm 27 (ESV-Adapted)

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

³ Though problems overwhelm  me,
my heart shall not fear;
though turmoil surrounds  me,
yet I will be confident.

⁴ One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

⁵ For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

⁶ And now my head shall be lifted up
above my  turmoil  and pain all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

⁷ Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
⁸ You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”

⁹ Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
¹⁰ For those closest to me have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

¹¹ Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my problems.
¹² Give me not up to the agony of my hurts and pains;
even if  lies are told about me
and they cut into my heart.

¹³ I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

When we  are deeply wounded by the  realities of this life, when we are  hurt beyond imagination, when we  are heart broken,   we can (and need to)  be honest with God  about our fear and our pain and maybe even doubt that we will ever feel God’s love and grace again. We can do that   and still be confident -  as David was  that he would  (once again)“ look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”

Our call is to “Wait for the Lord”  to bring healing not to  pretend or try to “force”  it  by saying the right words.

If you are hurting or heart-broken today,  may God’s richest blessings touch you and shorten the wait  until your soul is restored (or has been reconciled)  and you are abiding in the joy, peace and comfort that only He can give

God Bless
Charlie

Beginnings & Endings – Part 2

I will live today in the moment.

I will live today as if it were my last day here on this earth and I will dream and plan today for tomorrow because “Today is the first day of the rest of my life; I will rejoice and be glad in it”   (cf. Psalm 118:24-KJV)

Yesterday I started this series on “beginnings and endings”. I am not completely sure where this is going – however it is an entry point into sharing some aspects of my journey with God following my “theme song” as shown above.  

Yesterday,  I  listed  some of the events that have led me to  “a renewed and clearer understanding of  the  temporary and fleeting nature of our life here on this earth.”

As these thing occurred over the past 2 years, there was always a sense of loss and a deep sorrow  - a desire to be a source of strength and comfort to others who were more directly affected than I and (except perhaps in the case of my Dad) a clear recognition that any  loss I might feel was  very small in relation to that felt by those (wives, children, parents, …) more  directly affected. 

More significantly (at least to me) was a persistent reaction – that  I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit– of gratitude that it hadn’t happened to me or a member of my immediate family and an  (especially in the sudden deaths of those close to me in age) an arrogant   “thumping of my chest” and saying “Well this wouldn’t happen to me because I’m in perfect health”.    (This was often ‘disguised’ as a prayer of thankfulness – but nonetheless in my heart there was pride and arrogance).  I might have done well to remember the proverb.

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

In December 2012, I had a persistent severe cough for several weeks and, finally at my wife’s urging just before Christmas, I went to emergency to see about it. Well the cough was no problem but while there I mentioned that I’d had a few minor incidents of very mild chest pain after walking briskly. No need to bother you with the details but the outcome of  was that I was scheduled for a stress test  on January 4 at 8:00 a.m. 

I was so confident that there wasn’t anything wrong that I drove myself in  so Linda wouldn’t have to roust herself out that early in the morning.  Well an hour later I had “failed” the stress test and was being scheduled for an immediate angiogram. And Linda was left scrambling to find a ride to the hospital so she could be there for the procedure.

By 1 p.m. it was “good news and bad news” – good news arteries are completely clear, bad news  - doctor thinks I have aortic valve stenosis” ( a “sticky valve – more like something I’d expect in my car than myself J).  

So I was scheduled for an echocardiogram to verify  this – and Tuesday (22^nd) after that test the Doc comes in and says “The valve is very tight and I think it needs to be replaced” – didn’t seem to be any “wiggle room” – he was pretty clear “It needs to be replaced – it’s only going to get worse and your risk of sudden cardiac failure is 10 times higher than someone who has a healthy heart” so he has referred me to a cardiac surgeon  in Sudbury (about 200 miles (300 km) away) and we are waiting for the call.

An end to the illusion that I was in perfect health and that would go on for “ever”

Another ending and a beginning of living with a new reality.

When your own mortality hits you in the face it really stops you in your track. For me, the way I process these things is to talk about them (which can be a bit tedious for wife,   friends and acquaintances) and to write about them which I’ve  doing  in my journal.

I had also late last year been thinking of resuming my blog and then early this week  I saw a note from a ”blogging buddy” that said she had published a blog   for the first time in quite a while. This inspired me to start (so your have Dee Andrews (see  Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles) to thank or curse depending on whether you think this is worthwhile reading)  for having me “jump back into the pool”. Thanks Dee you have inspired me many times and I am sorry to hear of your current health problems)

So where am I going with this? Still not 100% sure but I need to wait until tomorrow because there are “today” things I have to get to.

I’ll close some verses from Job that seems appropriate (not that I think what’s happened to me and around me compares at all to what happened to Job but it does deal with  how we respond to “bad things”).

The first one  was brought  back onto my radar screen  on  Sunday when my Linda and I were watching a video that her Ladies’ class was using.

 ²¹ And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” ²² In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.    Job 21-22, (ESV)

The second one has been for a long time  a core part of my “theology” of suffering  and accepting whatever outcomes occur when we’ve  prayed fervently for healing or some other  good thing.

Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”  In all this Job did not sin with his lips.   Job 2:10b-11 (ESV)

I’ll pick up from here tomorrow in Part 3

Beginnings & Endings – Part 1

I last posted in my blog in June 2010.

I have wanted to restart for some time and for various reasons it never seemed to happen. I’m starting today – a new beginning with a dialog about endings. I don’t know if I will do this every day .  

 I do have a dream that I might find a “theme”,   “re-brand” my blog,  write regularly with some  methods  that could lead to a small amount of revenue – but that remains to be seen.

For now we’ll just stumble along on meandering “Whitfield’s journey”   with more personal topics based on the events of the day.

I pray that these rambling walks may have some value to someone..

My personal them that I’ve  (re)set for 2013 is captured in the following statement

I will live today in the moment. I will live today as if it were my last day here on this earth  and I will dream and plan today for tomorrow because  “Today is the first day of the rest of my life; I will rejoice and be glad in it”   (cf.Psalm 118:24-KJV)

I’ve labelled this post beginnings and endings because

---  as my “theme song” for this year says  I want always to remember  “that each day, each moment is a beginning, an opportunity, a new breath, a new step, a new relationship is be formed, in this moment, in this beginning.

----- It seems my life has increasingly  been filled with endings and that is really the  focus of this "Beginnings and Endings" post

2011

June:  one of my  oldest friends (not in years but in length of time we had been friends) died suddenly of a heart attack.  We had become friends in high school, we double dated.  I was his best man in June 1966 and he was my best man in September that same year.  An ending and a loss

August: My younger brother died waiting for a heart transplant. My best friend.  My “go to” person.     An ending and a loss --  a “broken circle” – the first of eight in my family to die.

Throughout the year several other  friends and acquaintances died. – it seemed funerals where an every week event. So many endings.

2012

August:  My Dad died. It was  a blessing. He  was done with this world   and got to go home and I miss him (the man that he was before  age  took his mind before it took his body). The end of an era – the last of the eight offspring raised by my grandparents.

August: A fellow elder, close friend and another of my “go to” people died suddenly – he was only a couple of years older than me.

December: Another “pioneer” –  the man who owned the farm next to the one where I was born –  a leader in the church where I grew  up – died after a lengthy illness. The last of a generation of men (that included my father) who had  built up the church their parents and grandparents had  started  at North Livingston and they were  instrumental in making to move to a new building in Thessalon.  The end of another era.

And as in 2011 many other friends and acquaintances, former neighbors died.  The “regular”  attendance  funerals and visitations continued and even seemed to increase.  

2013

I have already attended the funeral of a long time member and very dear  sister (and cousin) at the Pinehill church and yesterday  another of  my “peers” died  - I wrote this on his daughter’s facebook page “ Your dad was part of the "gang" (a year or so younger) that I grew up with at the old North Livingston church”.  And yesterday we learned of the death of  the daughter (who was our age) of another dear couple  -who are  a long time members at  the Pinehill church. More endings.

So what’s the point?  Well for me, these endings along with some other things that have been happening in my life have given me a renewed and clearer understanding of  the  temporary and fleeting nature of our life here on this earth.

As James says (1:9-11 ESV)  “Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, ¹⁰ and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass^[c] he will pass away. ¹¹ For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.”

There’s more to be said so I’ll need to do at least one more post – tomorrow!!

Still trying ... once in a while

Just a quick update to say I'm still here. We have spent the past 5 weeks commuting between our camper and home -- the time at "camp" is very relaxing and has also allowed us to do some needed repairs there. We have been doing the basics at home and trying to finish off the painting, flooring and trim for "our part" of the building extension. I have been reading a book called the "Brain that changes itself" -- recommended by Linda's chiropractor and also by my son. My interest in reading these discoveries of what can be done to overcome damage to our brain is too see how that connects to my theology. One thing I am certain of by faith is that nothing science discover about humans will be unrelated to what God has told us about humans -- although it may not have been revealed in any clear way. I'm a long way from doing any serious research on this connection so I can't say if I'll ever get tot he point of posting something coherent on the topic.


We will be unavailable most of July involved in fammily things so it may well be fall before I get into any serious discussion. I actually take this as a sign of progress as I am being more realistic about concentrating my energy on the 3 most important projects I have identified -- and allowing the rest to remain in the background. For now caring for my Dad, fulfilling my role as an elder and keeping up with other family matters fills my days -- well almost -- I also am taking more time for R&R and meditation --


God Bless
Charlie

I'm afraid to say I'm starting again

My desire to start a weekly posting on "breaking the cognitive egg" remains just that -- an unfulfilled desire. I'm beginning to think it just isn't meant to be and yet fatalism and passive acceptance of things that could be changed aren't very healthy -- So for now I'm seeking "the wisdom to know the difference"

The last six weeks have been interesting to say the least. We made a trip to visit our son Chris (and I had the satisfaction of installing a suspended ceiling in his basement). When we arrived Linda began experiencing severe shoulder and arm pain that as best we can tell is a chronic pain with no specific cause. She was essentially beridden for 3 weeks and between running to doctor's appointments and house work my days were fairly full -- and then as she began to recuperate I foolishly burned my little finger and that along with continuing other responsibilities for my Dad and worki at the church has left me with little energy for this project -- so the beat goes on -- I haven't given up -- and I've given up being driven to accomplish something that for whatever reason hasn't made it to the "must do" list.

Perhaps this is a lesson in patience or perhaps it's an exercise in rationalization -- I'm not sure and I'm not going to worry about it -- God knows and I trust in his grace in all these things.

God Bless
Charlie

So far it isn't getting any easier

Last post on January 24 I said I was going to be talking about “making the complex more simple and the hard easier”.

For reasons noted below I haven’t made much progress

One thing for sure is trying to do even a weekly blog about changing the way this 65 year old brain operates isn't going to be either "easy" or "simple".

Since the last post my time for "cracking the cognitive egg" has been consumed by life happenings.

From January 24 through February 7 I was almost full-time working on the project of relocating my Dad from an apartment to a retirement home. If I'm experiencing difficulty in making real changes to the habits I've developed over the years -- try getting a 93 year old man to learn new routines! However, it was a successful transitions.

We then took a week to travel to visit with Sarah and Will who had come east for a visit with her parents and friends. We spent a great afternoon with them in Niagara Falls -- amazed at how much he had grown and changed in the 8 months since we had last seen him . We also visited with friends in the area and spent the weekend with Melissa and Alex in Toronto.

No sooner back from that trip with plans to take a longer time of R&R for 4 weeks in mid-March to mid-April when my brother -- in addition to ongoing heart problems had a minor stroke --

So I suppose I can't feel too guilty for failing to meet my weekly commitment to posting.

I did want to do something this week -- before we head off on our trip.

So far my efforts at “cracking the cognitive egg” have been more like fruitless efforts to unravel a ball of string. I see a little end here and there but I soon find it is entangled in the ball and I start again looking for a piece that will come off completely before moving to the next one.

I am looking for some type of framework to shape my thinking and ultimately influence my behavior. Last time I mentioned the need to examine pre-suppositions – and I have been thinking about that. One of my strongest presuppositions is my “assumption” that God exists – this I accept as an “article of faith” or as an “axiom” of life. Of course other start with different pre-suppositions but for me this one is foundational” self-evident” place that I start. Knowing God (Theology) then becomes a very central theme in my life and any changes I make need to be shaped by my theology.

For today I am posting portions of a sermon I presented describing God’s gifts of enable (us to lie as his children), equipping (us with gifts that allow us to do His good works of service) and encouraging (us through the presence of others who also seek to serve).

I have made some editorial changes to remove specific local references.

God Bless
Charlie




Reading Matt. 25:14-30
My goal this morning is to provide some thoughts on how we can individually and collectively be “the best we can be” in our walk with Jesus.
(being the best we can be is based on Phil 4:16 which says in part
--- “let live up to what we have already attained.”

Is there anyone here who doesn’t know who these people are and why they are celebrating? I doubt it!!! ( Clockwise from top left - Alex Bilodeau, Joannie Rogette, Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue , Sidney Crosby)

I am still excited by the many memorable events of these games and I know that is true for most Canadians and for many more around the world – the Paralympics will add to this story

--- a story that illustrates “the joy of victory and the agony of defeat”
--- and also illustrates the human capacity to achieve “impossible dreams”.

The Olympics was a huge undertaking. It didn’t happen by accident. It started with a dream by a few people and came about through the determination of many people to pursue the dream by setting goals and pursuing them.

It wasn’t enough for the organizing committee to commit to this dream and set goals –it took many different people -- engineers, construction workers to build the facilities and all kinds of people to run the events – for example security people

.. and it took individual athletes with their own dreams and goals to put in the time and effort to qualify and then compete, it took coaches, parents and other supporters -

Setting goals, having the commitment to make them happen, perseverance and hard work led to a record breaking 14 gold medals

Jesus has a dream that all “may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). And He gave his life so that we might have this gift.

Do we share that dream as a church family? What purpose or goal are we determined to achieve? How do you and I as individuals within that family give of ourselves each day to allow Jesus dream to be a reality that we experience??

To accomplish great things, it is important for a group to have a common goal, purpose or mission

In the lead-up to the 2010 Winter Olympics (and Paralympics) several of the Canadian sports organizations supported by government and other partners joined together to create the “ Own the Podium” initiative

Their mission (for the Olympic Games) was to be #1 in medals.

Now we can question whether this was a realistic mission and we can debate whether it was accomplished or even give the reasons why Canada failed to accomplish the mission

Or we can believe that setting a “big hairy audacious goal” spurred the athletes in their efforts to achieve and we can celebrate what was accomplished

One way of stating our mission as follower's of Jesus is ...
.. Going .. Growing … Gving

Of course our mission is set by God and at its simplest our mission is to “follow Jesus” (Mark 8:34)—

There is ONE important difference between our mission and the Olympics. In Jesus, because of God’s grace, IF we are in the race, we are all “gold medalists” –

As followers of Jesus we are called to “make every effort” to live this mission – to be “in the race” each & every day –whether at home, at work or at play.

What prevents us from getting “on board” with this mission?
And make no mistake, being “on board” means much more than having “put on Christ in baptism” – as important as that is-- and it means much more than attending services and bible studies -- even though these things too are important.
No .. committing to “going, growing and giving” as your mission means so much more than these. It means surrendering your life 24/7 - every day - each day.

You may think this mission is too big? or I don’t know what I am able to do? Or I don’t have the knowledge or ability to do anything that will help? Or I’ve tried and it didn’t work or I’m tired and discouraged – I can’t keep going?

One of the ways to do what may seem as impossible is to break the mission into more tangible and specific goals

For example, Canada’s Olympic dream began way back before 1998 when Vancouver was picked (instead of Quebec City or Calgary) to be the city to submit the Canadian bid. Then after a lot more work was done the IOC selected Canada (Vancouver’s) bid in July 2003.

And then the real work began – there were all kinds of building projects, athletes vying to be selected for the games, etc. etc. It cost over $6 billion dollars and took countless thousands of people – and in the end we celebrated Sydney Crosby ‘s overtime goal and claimed Canada’s 14th Gold medal. (I should acknowledge for our US neighbors that even though Canada beat the US in hockey -- and a few other sports -- the US "owned the podium" with 37 medals overall)

I’m sure there were many back in 1998 that said this was crazy – impossible – but it was accomplished.

So let’s believe that following Jesus is possible – and let’s also understand that it requires effort –
When we try to follow in someone’s footsteps, we may wonder how our footprint measures up?
One thing for sure our footprints aren’t going to be the same as Jesus - his footprints are simply too big us to fill. (Notice "my" little foot in Jesus "big foot")

However, we can be following and we can be growing as we follow. (Eph 2:10-11, I Pet 1 3-11, Gal 5:23-25)

We may not be able to fill His “shoes” but we can grow “triple E” feet – This means we are
1)enabled – we are able to take on some task
2) equipped with knowledge, tools and skills to do our task.
3) encouraged and encouragers – to help us persevere in spite of the adversities and trails we experience in this life.

And we are promised these things in ever-increasing measure (unless we do as the one-talent servant and bury our feet instead of growing them.
(If needed I can give the biblical evidence that we are promised these abilities (gifts))

(Note: feet can grow in 2 ways - length and breadth -- in this metaphor length represents adding additional gifts and abilities as we grow -- breadth -- "triple E" is growth that let's us be the best we can be with whatever gifts and abilities we already have).

Putting on the Olympics required places to compete and places for the athletes and fans to stay and ways to feed them and move them around. It also needed competent (enabled), equipped athletes who were encouraged as they pursued their dreams of gold.

But it took more - It took many different kinds of “talents” (planners, builders, organizers, marketers, fundraisers, coaches, trainers, supporters, and volunteers ),

In the same way followers of Jesus are not identical “clones” who all do everything the same and are all equally capable of doing all things. No we are (to switch metaphors) a body that has hands, feet, mouths, eyes – each with a specific job and to function well each one needs to do its part (Ephesians 4:15-16)

Not only does it require different abilities but each one has different levels of capability.
There may be some who are more visible and who stand up and take the “medals” when God grants a good result from our efforts but the reality is nothing good happens without each one doing their part – even if it is just “being a fan” by praying and encouraging others who are more visibly involved.

There’s no shame in being a “1 talent worker”. The shame is NOT stepping up and being the best we can be for Jesus –

And don’t let anyone make you think that “one size fits all” when it comes to what need to be doing to “follow Jesus”. – each one is uniquely created to serve God.

So let’s be sure we are using whatever our talents are by growing triple E feet.

We have a mission as a family – each one can do something as part of that mission – sometimes as a part of organized ministry efforts
-- and always and most importantly as we go about our daily lives .. at work, at home, at play.

Prayer: Father help each of us use the gifts you have given us to grow and use our “Triple E” feet so that we will receive “Heaven’s gold medal” – and that by our walk in faith, hope and love we will bring others with us. And especially Father help us to “follow Jesus” each day so that we can experience the joy, peace and love that is promised in this life

If it were easy ....

Again a busy full week. A couple of days related to my Dad’s care; a day working on the building; time at the dentist having a crown installed. and preparing for and being part of a great afternoon (visiting and a pot luck supper) with Linda’s family on Saturday. We had 8 (of 9) of her brothers and sisters (and many of the “in-laws” along with several nieces, & nephews, a “grand” niece and the first “great-grand” nephew (hard to believe but Linda’s younger sister became a great-grandmother last April). There were for a total of 24 here for at least part of the afternoon.

As I was preparing to write about my efforts to “Get cracking”, I was considering (again) exactly what it was I was trying to accomplish in this “Breaking the cognitive egg” exercise.

There are actually 2 parts to this.

One has to do with “preventative measures” to offset the normal and natural decline in our reasoning and thinking powers as we age – and yes -- while I don’t think of myself that way I am now an official “card carrying” member of those that the Government of Canada considers old!!) (Actually I still believe in my definition of old – it’s someone who is at least 20 years older than I am :):) )

This idea of "keeping the brain sharp" is really the point of the article I referred to in Cracking the cognitive egg which I posted January 2 as the start of this series.

The second part has to do with the things mentioned in my last post – breaking bad habits such as "An (obsessive) need for approval - habits that limit and in some cases are destructive to my relationships.

For now I’m pursuing the idea that the same techniques that help with retaining cognitive skills may be helpful in breaking these habits – in the sense that changing habits requires breaking “well-trodden paths in our synapses” (see the goal outlined in the “Cracking the cognitive egg” article. )

As a starting point in this process, I had decided to identify the hypotheses that I am undertaking to prove (or disprove). And as I was starting to think about that I realized that it was important to be clear about the foundational “world views” that I have – "What are the things that I take as given's?"

Rene Descartes the famous French philospher and mathematician summarized his basic presuppositions in the statement "Cogito ergo sum" (translated into English as 'I think, therefore I am' ; or 'I am thinking, therefore I exist').

My presuppositions will both shape and limit my thinking— and they need to be understood both by myself and my readers before there can really be an understanding of what I am saying.

This leads me to remember one of my favorite sayings

“There are things that are easy (or hard) to do and there are things that are simple (or complex) to understand”

This leads to 4 possibilities – things that are simple to understand and easy to do; things that are simple to understand and hard to do; things that are complex but easy to do and things that are both complex and hard to do”

And this lead me to thinking that the answer to my question from last week about “Why is it so hard to get started?” is “If it was easy, I’d already be done”

And that lead to looking up some “easy quotes” which I’ve listed below.

Next time - I’ll begin the process of making the complex more simple and the hard easier. For now do you have any favorites from these quotes?

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. Warren Buffett

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There are no easy answers' but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right. Ronald Reagan

Don't just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it. Jim Rohn

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. John F. Kennedy

If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches, and poor men's cottage princes' palaces. William Shakespeare

There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. H. L. Mencken

Thinking is easy, action is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Good questions outrank easy answers. Paul Samuelson

All things are difficult before they are easy. Thomas Fuller

All difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small. …. Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy …. Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step Lao Tzu

Faith makes all things possible... love makes all things easy. Dwight L. Moody

It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. Confucius

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires. Nelson Mandela

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. Aristotle

Evil is easy, and has infinite forms. Blaise Pascal

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. W. C. Fields

To swear off making mistakes is very easy. All you have to do is swear off having ideas. Leo Burnett

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Marianne Williamson

It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart. Al Pacino

To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult. Plutarch

There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy. Albert Ellis

To disbelieve is easy; to scoff is simple; to have faith is harder. Louis L'Amour

It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy. Marie Curie

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. Galileo Galilei

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. ….Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. Josh Billings

Falsehood is easy, truth so difficult. George Eliot

What is easy is seldom excellent. Samuel Johnson

Only entropy comes easy. Anton Chekhov

Painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do. Edgar Degas

Philosophy finds it an easy matter to vanquish past and future evils, but the present are commonly too hard for it. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy. Saadi

Castles in the air - they are so easy to take refuge in. And so easy to build too. Henrik Ibsen

It wasn't until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say "I don't know." W. Somerset Maugham

A wise man thinks what is easy is difficult. A fool often fails because he thinks what is difficult is easy John Churton Collins

So am I making the easy – hard – am I making the simple complex? -- -- Time will tell.

God Bless
Charlie

Why is it so hard to get started?

Another full week and a bit and I didn’t get a post done on Saturday -- The good news is that I’ve already posted as many times in 2010 as I did for the entire year last year. (In looking at my archive bar I see this pattern of posts (2006 – 103; 2007 – 34; 2008 – 15 ; 2009 – 2) so I suppose it wasn’t much of a challenge to exceed my 2009 output – we’ll see were it ends up)

Back in July 2006 I posted a blog Living by the Nike Creed where I talked about my tendency to put off starting projects and challenged myself to follow the Nike slogan “Just do it?”.

I’m finding that my commitment to “breaking the cognitive egg” seems to be keep getting sidetracked by life and I ask myself ‘why is it so difficult to get started?’ (which I would measure by being able to point to concrete specific actions I have taken beyond just “thinking about it” and writing weird posts about techniques of cracking eggs :)

So ‘Why is it so difficult to get started (make visible progress)?

One answer is that last week was a very full week. Monday I spent trying to get organized. Making lists (and lists of lists) about what needed to be done and picking up materials for the Tuesday work day at the church building. Wednesday through Friday was fully occupied with family events related to my Dad’s 93rd birthday. We had family here for lunch & supper both Wednesday & Thursday and lunch Friday and then a big family dinner at the North 82 restaurant on Friday night.

Saturday a.m. was tied up in a church planning meeting and the p.m. was a little quieter. I spent most of Saturday afternoon working through and cleaning up a years worth of backlog in my email inbox (well I cleared out January and February 2009 and worked back through December) and took care of a few long standing small projects. Saturday evening we attended an 85th birthday celebration for one of our neighbors. With all that activity, I didn’t spend much time on my journal thinking about the “big question”.

Another answer is that it is tough getting started on something new when there are several important things that need to be cleaned up before I add something else to the list.

One of the disciplines (habits) that I have been focused on developing in my living for several years is based on the asking these 2 questions

“What would you be doing today if it was your last day?

And what would you be doing today if it was your first day?”

and then doing (at least 1) thing from each of the answers during the day. (Interestingly I heard Ravi Zacharias state this principle in a slightly different way in a radio sermon last evening – He said “Treat your body as if it will be here forever and treat your soul as if this will be your last day).

Those daily choices have been shaped by a fairly consistent process of starting each month and then each week by listing the 3 most important things I need to get done that week (over and above the routines of daily living) and last week the 3 important things didn’t include a specific goal for my “egg cracking project”.

A 3rd possible answer is that I’m doing OK with getting this project started – after all this is a pretty huge ball of string to unravel and just because I haven’t found the a long piece to unwind and the pile of unraveled pieces is quite small doesn’t mean that I haven’t been making reasonable progress.

Maybe it’s just a rationalization and denial of my inability to figure out how to jumpstart this project but I choose to accept this answer.

I did identify what I think are 4 key “success factors” (things I need to overcome – or to push the metaphor parts of the egg I have to crack) to improve the health and strength of my relationships.

1. I have an (obsessive) need for approval. When others disagree I often feel disliked and unworthy.

Rather than dealing with the discomfort of disagreement and sticking with the discussion, I can become angry or I may just concede and bury the frustration(which can erupt like a volcano later unexpectedly and at someone else on a completely different topic)

2 I want to be right – to be the one that has all the answers.
This leads to all types of dysfunctional behavior when I’m asked a question that I really don’t want to deal with or which seems to challenge my “authoritative” status.

3. I feel ashamed, and inadequate when I make a mistake.

This leads to anger and denial.
4. I feel responsible for what others do – I want to "fix" them.

This leads to efforts to control others, disrespect for their boundaries and anger when they don’t conform.

These limitations and my reactions to them are toxic (like a cancer) that can, at worst, eat away at and destroy a relationship and at best, limit the number of mature, healthy and fulfilling close relationships that I can sustain.

While these are only words, they do provide a framework for the egg cracking exercise – and for this week my “slogan” is (taken again from an advertisement) “Let’s get cracking”

God Bless
Charlie

Thoughts about cracking eggs

Wow – a whole week of 2010 gone already. It’s been a busy week – in addition to the normal things around the house, at least daily visits with my Dad tending to his needs, getting back into the church building project (filling in while the project manager is out of commission dealing with medical problems, visit to the ortho clinic Monday (last time for the elbow until he does surgery in a few months to remove the plate & screws he put in in July) , Wednesday visit to dentist to do the prep work and get a temporary crown, preparing (Tuesday) and then restoring curtains etc for new windows which were installed Wednesday, organizing family supper next Friday to celebrate my Dad’s 93rd and a couple of visits with some folks who were needing someone to listen to them as they wrestled with some tough things in their lives and capped off last evening with a nachos and movie night with some friends from our church family – AVATAR – even in 2D -- it’s a cliffhanger (literally at times)

I am thankful to be blessed with the health and energy that let’s me enjoy this pace and for the ability to make jokes about the similarities between lists and rabbits. (you’ll have to get to my FACEBOOK page for full details on that one)

Last week I included an excerpt from “The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain” by Barbara Strauch and then I asked

“How can I ‘crack the cognitive egg and scramble it up’ so as to create positive changes in my relationship behaviors” (or is this even possible)?

As I have been journaling this week, I started thinking about this idea and it generated these random thoughts

1. It’s easy to crack an egg – but not as easy to do it right. Have you seen a child the first time trying to crack the egg and get the contents into the bowel without also included the shell or observed with wonder an expert doing 2 eggs one handed with ease and flair (You can watch the Youtube training video to develop this skill for one egg))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfHqdc4pbbs&feature=player_embedded
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2. There are different reasons for cracking an egg – one is to get at the contents to cook them – another is to allow the hatchling inside to emerge. (See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCdbRR8FbX0)

While the metaphor of the cognitive egg seems to refer to the breaking to let the contents out and change into a new shape, perhaps there is some merit in pursuing the hatchling idea .

3. Sometimes the contents of the egg are scrambled, sometimes they are fried and sometimes they are hardboiled. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv8vsuNWhWQ
I wonder I really want to do any of these things with my brain (thought processes) and I also think that any of these might at times be an aptdescription of my current situation.

4. There’s the Humpty Dumpty syndrome to consider. We can crack the egg and scramble up the contents – but how will we put it back together again?

5. Isn’t there something a little unsettling about this metaphor – If the egg is my skull – do I really want to crack it open and start scrambling the grey stuff inside?I think not.

6. It doesn’t matter how much thinking we do about cracking the egg if we never get on with the work of changing. And this blog is evidence of that fact – it is a way of posting something despite not having done much "real work" on this question this week.

However, if I’m going to pursue this I know it will take discipline and consistent effort. And part of that is a commitment to a weekly blogging exercise to share things that may be of help to others – so for this week we’ll be a little silly and just think about cracking eggs. Any thoughts about that that I’ve missed?

Maybe by next Saturday I’ll have something more on this – or maybe not--
I'm thinking the this may be a tough egg to crack(pun intended)

God Bless
Charlie

Cracking the cognitive egg

Well it’s the 2nd day of 2010. Hard to believe that we are entering the 2nd decade of the 21st century. I well remember the angst with which we entered the year 2000 (Y2K) – maybe a distant memory for many of you but not for those of us with direct responsibility for computer systems and all the concerns regarding wide spread disasters due to the 2 digit dates and the change in century.

As an aside much of that was hype and much of it was real. What amazed me most was the fact the IT people who had in a sense created the problem with a failure to think ahead far enough about the consequences of choices in selecting 2 digit year formats responded with tenacity and ingenuity and resolved most of the real problems –

Unfortunately corporate boards listened to the auditors and with a lack of understanding of the real issues believed a lot of the hype and over-reacted. Most senior IT people went along and spent a lot more time and money than was really warranted by the level of risk to things like power systems and airplane controls.

It was a bit like what I heard on the radio2 days ago as we were leaving to come home the morning of New Year’s Eve. The announcer said “the best thing to do tonight if you need to drive even if you are stone cold sober, is to treat everyone else on the road as if they are drunken idiots. Nobody wanted to take the chance that the rest of the world hadn’t done the due diligence in dealing with their Y2K issues and so they spent a lot of time in contingency planning and actions “just in case” something went wrong “out there”.

Well back to my main point for today. Most people at this time of year are either doing (belated) year end reviews or plans for the New Year.

In the past I have done both – and they take a lot of time --with uncertain value because I like many often lose sight of the lessons learned from the past and the focus on the goals I set in my plans.

So rather than set myself up for public failure by exposing those flaws to the “reading public” (Thanks Noel for letting me know that at least 1 person is still watching for my posts) I’m going to post the following item that I came across in a Bible discussion group that I’m involved with.


This is part of a post by "Dan Smith" on Berean Spirit where he provides an excerpt from a long paper "How to Train the Aging Brain" by Barbara Strauch .

“Educators say that, for adults, one way to nudge neurons in the right direction is to challenge the very assumptions they have worked so hard to accumulate while young. With a brain already full of well-connected pathways, adult learners should “jiggle their synapses a bit” by confronting thoughts that are contrary to their own, says Dr. Taylor, who is 66.Teaching new facts should not be the focus of adult education, she says. Instead, continued brain development and a richer form of learning may require that you “bump up against people and ideas” that are different. In a history class, that might mean reading multiple viewpoints, and then prying open brain networks by reflecting on how what was learned has changed your view of the world.“There’s a place for information,” Dr. Taylor says. “We need to know stuff. But we need to move beyond that and challenge our perception of the world. If you always hang around with those you agree with and read things that agree with what you already know, you’re not going to wrestle with your established brain connections”Such stretching is exactly what scientists say best keeps a brain in tune: get out of the comfort zone to push and nourish your brain. Do anything from learning a foreign language to taking a different route to work.“As adults we have these well-trodden paths in our synapses” Dr. Taylor says. “We have to crack the cognitive egg and scramble it up. And if you learn something this way, when you think of it again you’ll have an overlay of complexity you didn’t have before and help your brain keep developing as well.”Jack Mezirow, a professor emeritus at Columbia Teachers College, has proposed that adults learn best if presented with what he calls a “disorienting dilemma” or something that “helps you critically reflect on the assumptions you’ve acquired.”

Barbara Strauch is The Times’s health editor; her book “The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain” will be published in April.

I was moved to post this here – not because it is a new idea to me. Actually, my son who is working on his Ph. D. in neuropsychology had told me something similar almost 2 years ago and the “new route to work” and other such things have often been preached as ways to break free of habitual patterns and as a source of creative thinking.

I mention it because I have been pursuing new ways of looking at things related to God and the Bible (even if it doesn’t change my beliefs or behaviors although sometimes it has) for several years now.

In 2009, I have become aware of a need to do a similar re-examination of how I operate in relationships. I have ingrained behaviors that limit (or even are destructive) in relationships and I would like to break those “habits”.

My question to my self for 2010 is “how can I ‘crack the cognitive egg and scramble it up’ so as to create positive changes in my relationship behaviors” (or is this even possible)?

Any ideas out there?